It is Thursday February 15, 2018 and I have been so useless today.  My mind is trying to be productive, but it's wandering.  My thoughts are to the parents of children who didn't come home for dinner last night.  To parents, teachers, who wouldn't get to see today, but died a hero.  Not that they wanted to die that way, but someone else made that decision for them.  I don't want to know who Aaron Feis is.  I wanted him to continue living his life in Florida, and me not even knowing who this man was.  But now I know his name and face.  He died shielding kids from evil.

Let me tell you a story.  In high school my Mother went to California to be with her sick Mother.  My parents are divorced so my dog and I would stay with my Dad at his house.  Well, what do dumb 15, 16 year old kids do?  They go to their empty Mother's house and have friends over and drink.  It was supposed to be just a few friends, but it grew.  It wasn't one of those Hollywood movies with hundreds of kids.  But it was too much.  I actually didn't enjoy this party because my Mother's house is roped off with velvet ropes.  Not really, but it's one filled with antiques, fancy fabrics, and if a tiny scratch were to appear, and I'm talking, get your magnifying glass out, she would see it immediately.  I remember locking the back door, but I'd walk the house again, and it was unlocked and more kids were coming.  I was so stressed.  I actually wanted to tell everyone to leave, but these kids were "cool" and I was trying to be "cool" so I didn't say anything, but I was freaking out on the inside.  Well Foster, my dog, that was at my Dad's house was not behaving so my Dad drove over to my Mother's to put the dog there and guess what he saw? Yea, that's right.  All these kids.  Of course the moment the kids saw my Dad they ran.  I was in deep shit with my Dad.  That night he made me stay up for hours and clean the house, write down all the kids names, and write down every piece of furniture, rug, accessory and put a price to it.  At 6:00 am the next morning my Dad and I started ringing door bells and I had to tell the parent's of the kids who were at the party that they shouldn't have been there and I was disrespecting my Mother by doing so.  I was MORTIFIED.  Waking these parents up, that would immediately put that "cool" kid in trouble was awful.  The night of the party my Dad asked me how I was going to pay for that $15,000 dining table, or that $3,000 rug that my Mother worked hard for if it had gotten damaged.  But what stuck out to me the most from that long night of talks with my Dad was when he said, "Tucker, if a child got in a car and had been drinking, and gets in an accident that kills someone else or themselves, your Mother and I would probably get sued.  And we could lose everything."  I said that can't be because y'all didn't even know about it."  But he said, that didn't matter, people will still sue.  

Now this is a different example, but in 2015 a houseguest of actress Demi Moore's assistant held a party at the actress' home.  A guest died from drowning at her pool, while Demi wasn't even in the country, yet she gets sued because, well, people sue.  Sometimes things don't have to make sense.  What I'm getting at is, it seems that all we hear from politicians is blah, blah, blah, sending condolences.  No action.  So if a person, or persons repeatedly does something, or lack there of, can they be charged with accessory to murder?  See, I don't think anything will change til either that happens or a politician's child, or grandchild is gunned down.  We need a someone like Judge Rosemarie Aquilina who made an example of Larry Nassar to set a precedent that this will no longer be allowed to go on the back burner.  Do they need to see the autopsy photos of a 14 year old girl whose chest looks like an animal has torn it to shreds.  Do they need to see the pool of blood that they're laying in to finally get it?  Now, I'm sorry if that was too graphic for you, but that's reality.  Maybe, we need someone to video every time the police have to say, "I'm sorry, your child died." then watch that over and over again, til they get it.  

I don't know the answer, but I do know sitting back doing nothing isn't working.  What's sad is prior to yesterday I had a thought not that long ago of, when will the next shooting happen?  It's gotta be coming soon, because well, we're the U S of A and we are seven weeks into the year and we've had eight school shootings and we sit back and let it continuously happen.  I sent my kids to school today and once I left them I wondered, did I hug them enough, just in case that might be the last time?  I worry every day, is this the day that will shatter me forever.  A parent should never have to bury a child.  But I don't think I'd ever be ok, if I had to bury my son because some lunatic shot my child up at their school, their supposed safe haven.  I shook with fear and cried tears of sorrow both for the families and my family.  


That is a photo of my 6 year old son Asher to put this into perspective.  Five years ago, a man with no soul, and clearly mental problems shot 20 six and seven year olds at Sandy Hook Elementary.  Kids this age shouldn't know what true fear is, they should be afraid of monsters under their beds.  Kids this age shouldn't know what a semi automatic weapon is, they should be playing trucks and dolls.  But now those 20 parents wake up from their nightmare every day, every day for the REST OF THEIR LIVES.  Then something like yesterday where as of now, 17 people died at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School and those parents who have lost children to a school shooting relive their worst day.  It's got to be so infuriating to loose a child to a school shooting, for only more school shootings and deaths to occur.  And your Congressmen won't do a thing and you fight, and you ask for change, but their pockets have gotten so full, they have lost a part of goodness in them.  You wonder, will they ever get that goodness back and do the right thing?

Yes, this is an interior design blog.  And my life will go on, and I'll write another blog about a pretty home.  But think about this, when you go to bed tonight and walk past your child's room, know that they are sleeping peacefully while another parent walks past their child's room and sobs.